{"id":2901,"date":"2014-04-30T20:34:13","date_gmt":"2014-04-30T20:34:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/2014\/04\/30\/ahlaki-gevseklik-ve-karakter-gelisimi-2\/"},"modified":"2014-04-30T20:34:13","modified_gmt":"2014-04-30T20:34:13","slug":"ahlaki-gevseklik-ve-karakter-gelisimi-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/2014\/mayis-2014\/ahlaki-gevseklik-ve-karakter-gelisimi\/","title":{"rendered":"AHLAK\u0130 GEV\u015eEKL\u0130K VE KARAKTER GEL\u0130\u015e\u0130M\u0130"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Anne babas\u0131ndan ilgi ve \u015fefkat g\u00f6rmeyen, hatta s\u00fcrekli hakaret ve \u015fiddet g\u00f6ren, aile kavgalar\u0131 ve huzursuzluk ortam\u0131 i\u00e7inde yeti\u015fen, bak\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n, yak\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n ve kre\u015f hocalar\u0131n\u0131n ters ve sert tepkilerinden etkilenen, cinsel istismar ve sap\u0131k davran\u0131\u015flarla taciz edilen, \u015fiddet i\u00e7erikli ve \u015fehvet tahrikli dizi ve filimler izleyen \u00e7ocuklar\u2026  \u0130mani telkinden ve ahlaki \u00f6\u011fretilerden habersiz b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fclen, Milli ve manevi de\u011ferler benimsetilmeyen, sadece d\u00fcnyevi \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131 ve maddi ama\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00f6zetilen, nefsi ve hayvani d\u00fcrt\u00fcleri devaml\u0131 tetiklenen \u00e7ocuklar\u2026 \u00d6zellikle anne babalar\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131, hafta sonlar\u0131 da biriken ev i\u015fleriyle u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in, ihtiya\u00e7 duyduklar\u0131 ilgi ve sevgi kendilerine yeterince verilmeyen, terbiyeli ve seviyeli arkada\u015f gruplar\u0131na kat\u0131l\u0131p sosyalle\u015femeyen, cami ve sohbet gibi manevi atmosferden, kom\u015fuluk ve akrabal\u0131k ili\u015fkilerinden mahrum ve ba\u015f\u0131bo\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fcyen, \u00e7ocuksu hevesleri ve do\u011fal hareketleri s\u00fcrekli bast\u0131r\u0131l\u0131p ezilen ve \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fclen, b\u00f6ylece duygular\u0131 ve arzular\u0131 k\u00f6rletilip ertelenen \u00e7ocuklar; maalesef kahramanl\u0131kla, korkakl\u0131k aras\u0131nda, \u00e7ok iyi insanl\u0131kla \u015feytanl\u0131k s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131nda, b\u00fcy\u00fck fedak\u00e2rl\u0131kla zul\u00fcmkarl\u0131k ortas\u0131nda \u00e7ok ani de\u011fi\u015fiklik ve g\u00fcvensizlik sergileyen ve nerede nas\u0131l hareket edece\u011fi kestirilemeyen bozuk bir ruh haline ve psikolojik dengesizli\u011fe d\u00fc\u015febilmektedir. Bunlar\u0131n en yayg\u0131n belirtisi ise; \u00e7irkin ve k\u00fcf\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u00f6zler s\u00f6ylenmesi, kaba ve ay\u0131p tepkiler verilmesi, edepsiz ve terbiyesiz tav\u0131rlara y\u00f6nelmesi, b\u00fcy\u00fcklere h\u00fcrmet ve riayet, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcklere sevgi ve sahiplik g\u00f6sterilmemesi, k\u0131saca hayas\u0131zl\u0131k edilmesidir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Hay\u00e2 ve utanma duygusu; bozulmam\u0131\u015f f\u0131trat\u0131n gere\u011fidir ve imandan gelir. Fuhu\u015f ve ars\u0131zl\u0131k ise, \u00e7irkin ve edepsiz s\u00f6z ve davran\u0131\u015f demektir. Haddi a\u015fan her \u015feye f\u00e2hi\u015f denir. Buradaki anlam\u0131, \u00e7irkin olan i\u015fleri, a\u00e7\u0131k kelimelerle anlatmak; m\u00fcstehcen, yani edebe, ahlaka ayk\u0131r\u0131, a\u00e7\u0131k sa\u00e7\u0131k konu\u015fmak ve \u015fehvetine esir olmak demektir. Abdest bozma ve cima (helal han\u0131m\u0131yla bulu\u015fma) i\u00e7in kullan\u0131lan kelimeleri bile \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc s\u00f6ylemek gerekir. Bu kelimeleri a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a belirtmek fahi\u015f ve \u00e7irkindir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bunlar\u0131 dile getirmek, m\u00fcr\u00fcvvete ve dindarl\u0131\u011fa uygun de\u011fildir, hay\u00e2y\u0131 giderir. Bunlar\u0131 anlatmak gerekince, a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a ifade edilmeyip, kinaye olarak s\u00f6ylemelidir! Kinaye, bir \u015feyi, a\u00e7\u0131k anlamlar\u0131 ba\u015fka olan kelimelerle dile getirmektir. Mesela, Allah\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2, Kur\u2019an-\u0131 Kerim\u2019de, cima i\u00e7in lems [dokunmak] kelimesini s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftir.[1]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Hadis-i \u015ferifte, \u201cFahi\u015f ve terbiyesiz konu\u015fmay\u0131 adet haline getirenlere cennet haramd\u0131r<\/i><\/b>\u201d[2]<\/a> uyar\u0131s\u0131 dikkat \u00e7ekicidir. Dinimizde hay\u00e2n\u0131n yeri \u00e7ok m\u00fchimdir. Hay\u00e2s\u0131 olan, Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2’dan utand\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in g\u00fcnah i\u015flemekten \u00e7ekinir. \u0130nsanlardan utanmayan\u0131n Allah’tan da utanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ektir. A\u00e7\u0131ktan g\u00fcnah i\u015fleyen, hem insanlardan, hem de Allah’tan \u00e7ekinmedi\u011fini g\u00f6sterir. \u201cAllah’\u0131n bildi\u011fini kuldan ne saklayay\u0131m\u201d<\/i><\/b> demek yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ve azg\u0131nl\u0131k alametidir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc gizli i\u015fledi\u011fi bir g\u00fcnah\u0131 ba\u015fkalar\u0131na a\u00e7\u0131klamak do\u011fru de\u011fildir ve bir nevi te\u015fvik edicidir. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130nsanlardan utanarak, g\u00fcnah\u0131 gizlemek de hay\u00e2n\u0131n gere\u011fidir. G\u00fcnah\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131k i\u015flenmesi, f\u00e2s\u0131klara cesaret verir. \u0130nsanlar; \u201cFalanca g\u00fcnah i\u015fliyor. Ben de i\u015flesem ne \u00e7\u0131kar\u201d<\/i><\/b> diyebilir. Riya olmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in nafile ibadeti gizlemek caizdir. Onun i\u00e7in, \u201cKabahat de gizli, ibadet de gizli\u201d<\/i><\/b> denmi\u015ftir. \u201cHay\u00e2 elbisesine b\u00fcr\u00fcnenin ay\u0131b\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fclmez. Duyulunca ho\u015flan\u0131lacak \u015feyleri yap\u0131n! Kimsenin duymas\u0131n\u0131 istemedi\u011fin ve duyulunca ho\u015flan\u0131lmayan \u015feylerden ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n\u201d<\/i><\/b> emredilmi\u015ftir. Hz. Ebu Bekir\u2019in, \u201cHay\u00e2s\u0131z ki\u015fi, halk i\u00e7inde \u00e7\u0131plak dola\u015fan gibidir\u201d<\/i><\/b> uyar\u0131s\u0131 \u00f6nemlidir. Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2\u2019dan utanmak, iman\u0131n kuvvetli oldu\u011funa, hay\u00e2s\u0131zl\u0131k da, iman\u0131n zay\u0131f oldu\u011funa alamettir. Hay\u00e2, iman\u0131n temelidir. <\/span><\/p>\n

Bunu gibi \u201cs\u00fcrekli s\u00f6z\u00fcnden d\u00f6nmek, \u00e7eli\u015fkili tav\u0131rlar sergilemek, hakaret g\u00f6rd\u00fcklerine, makam ve \u00e7\u0131kar hat\u0131r\u0131na h\u00fcrmet etmek, s\u0131k s\u0131k tavr\u0131n\u0131 ve tarz\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek\u201d<\/i> pi\u015fkinlik halidir ve karakterin yalama oldu\u011funu g\u00f6stermektedir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

K\u00e2firler, M\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar\u0131n imanlar\u0131n\u0131 yok etmek i\u00e7in, \u00f6nce hay\u00e2lar\u0131n\u0131, yani utanma duygular\u0131n\u0131 yok etmeye y\u00f6nelmi\u015ftir. Plajlarda, podyumlarda spor ve sanat ad\u0131 alt\u0131nda avret yerlerinin a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131na ve \u00e7\u0131plak dola\u015farak \u015fehvetin kam\u00e7\u0131lan\u0131p fuh\u015fun yayg\u0131nla\u015fmas\u0131na \u00f6nderlik edilmi\u015ftir. Fuh\u015fu \u00f6zendirmeye seks bilgisi denmektedir. E\u011flenmek i\u00e7in fuhu\u015f i\u00e7eren f\u0131kralar \u00fcretilmektedir. Bu ve seks bilgilerine ilericilik ve faydal\u0131 bilgi diyerek gen\u00e7ler hayas\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa itilmektedir. Moda salg\u0131n\u0131yla g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcsleri, g\u00f6bekleri te\u015fhir edip toplumu soysuzla\u015ft\u0131rma s\u00fcrecine h\u0131z verilmi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hayan\u0131n en k\u0131ymetlisi, elbette Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2\u2019dan utanmakt\u0131r. Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2\u2019dan utanan kimse, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7irkin i\u015flerden uzak duracak, kendine ve insanl\u0131\u011fa daima iyilik yapacakt\u0131r. M\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar hay\u00e2lar\u0131n\u0131n bozulmamas\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00e7ok dikkat etmeleri laz\u0131md\u0131r. \u0130sl\u00e2miyet, hem fen bilgilerinde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131, hem de g\u00fczel ahl\u00e2kl\u0131 olmay\u0131, herkese iyilik yapmay\u0131 buyurmaktad\u0131r. M\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar, cahillerin yalanlar\u0131na aldanmamal\u0131, onlar\u0131n \u00e7\u0131plak dola\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131, seks bilgisi ad\u0131 alt\u0131nda fuh\u015fu yayg\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131 taklide \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmamal\u0131d\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fczellikler, iyilikler \u0130sl\u00e2m ahl\u00e2k\u0131ndad\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7irkinlikler ve k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fckler ise, ahl\u00e2ks\u0131z ve hay\u00e2s\u0131z Bat\u0131\u2019n\u0131n bozuk hayat tarz\u0131ndad\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n

Onlar\u0131n oyununa gelmemelidir! \u0130nsanlar\u0131n \u015ferefi, ilim ve edepledir. Sanmay\u0131n\u0131z ki \u015feref; mal, m\u00fclk ve nesepledir! <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Bak\u0131n\u0131z banyoda kimse yokken de, pe\u015ftamals\u0131z y\u0131kanmak mekruh say\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Ger\u00e7i k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck yerde caiz olur diyen \u00e2limler de vard\u0131r. Bu bak\u0131mdan pe\u015ftamal ile veya dizlere kadar uzun \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r veya don ile y\u0131kanmal\u0131, omuzlar\u0131m\u0131zda bulunan meleklerden utanmal\u0131d\u0131r. Hadis-i \u015ferifte, \u201c\u00c7\u0131plak durmaktan sak\u0131n\u0131n! Hep sizinle beraber bulunan ve yaln\u0131z cimada ve hel\u00e2da ayr\u0131lan hafaza meleklerinden utan\u0131n ve onlara sayg\u0131l\u0131 olun!\u201d<\/i><\/b> buyrulmaktad\u0131r. <\/span><\/p>\n

Y\u0131kan\u0131rken oldu\u011fu gibi, otururken ve yatarken de Allah’tan utanmal\u0131d\u0131r! Hadis-i \u015feriflerdeki: <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cY\u0131kan\u0131rken \u00f6rt\u00fcn\u00fcn! Allah, hay\u00e2 sahibidir. Utan\u0131p \u00f6rt\u00fcneni sever\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAvret yerlerinizi \u00f6rt\u00fcn! Yaln\u0131z iken de Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2’dan hay\u00e2 edin!\u201d uyar\u0131lar\u0131na kulak asmal\u0131d\u0131r. <\/span><\/p>\n

Peygamber efendimiz, y\u00fcz\u00fckoyun yatan birine, \u201cKalk, bu yat\u0131\u015f, cehennem ehlinin yat\u0131\u015f\u0131d\u0131r\u201d ikaz\u0131nda bulunmu\u015flard\u0131r. Y\u00fcz\u00fckoyun ve \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcz yatan birine de, \u201cBu, Allah’\u0131n hi\u00e7 sevmedi\u011fi bir yat\u0131\u015f \u015fekli\u201d buyurmu\u015flard\u0131r. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hadis-i \u015feriflerde: <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2 ve az konu\u015fmak imandan, fahi\u015f laf ve \u00e7ok s\u00f6z nifaktand\u0131r\u201d[3]<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cKim, d\u00fcnyada g\u00fcnah\u0131n\u0131 gizlerse, Allah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2 da, K\u0131yamette, o g\u00fcnah\u0131 herkesten saklayacakt\u0131r\u201d[4]<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBir g\u00fcnaha d\u00fc\u015fen, Allah’\u0131n \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc, onun \u00fczerinde bulundurmal\u0131d\u0131r!\u201d [5]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b>(Yani utan\u0131p gizli tutmal\u0131d\u0131r\u201d<\/i><\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2 imandand\u0131r\u201d[6]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2 tamam\u0131yla hay\u0131rd\u0131r\u201d[7]<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2, iman\u0131n nizam\u0131d\u0131r. Nizam\u0131 bozulan \u015feyin, par\u00e7alar\u0131 darmada\u011f\u0131n olacakt\u0131r\u201d[8]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2, iffet, dile hakim olmak ve ak\u0131l imandand\u0131r. Cimrilik, fuhu\u015f, \u00e7irkin s\u00f6zl\u00fc olmak ise hay\u00e2s\u0131zl\u0131ktan ve m\u00fcnaf\u0131kl\u0131ktand\u0131r\u201d [Beyhek\u00ee] <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u0130man \u00e7\u0131plakt\u0131r; s\u00fcs\u00fc hay\u00e2, elbisesi takva, sermayesi f\u0131k\u0131h, meyvesi ameldir\u201d[9]<\/b><\/a> \u201cAmelsiz iman bo\u015f bir iddiad\u0131r\u201d<\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2 insan olsayd\u0131, Salih ve sayg\u0131n biri, fuhu\u015f insan olsayd\u0131, k\u00f6t\u00fc ve baya\u011f\u0131 biri olurdu\u201d[10]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2s\u0131 olmayan\u0131n dini bozulacakt\u0131r. Hay\u00e2s\u0131z kimse Cennete sokulmayacakt\u0131r\u201d[11]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHay\u00e2 ile iman bir aradad\u0131r. Biri giderse, \u00f6teki de durmayacakt\u0131r\u201d[12]<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFahi\u015f ve \u00e7irkin s\u00f6zlerden \u015fiddetle ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n!\u201d[13]<\/b><\/a><\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cM\u00fcmin, ay\u0131plamaz, l\u00e2net etmez, fahi\u015f s\u00f6z s\u00f6ylemez\u201d[14]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCennet, fahi\u015f ve \u00e7irkin s\u00f6z konu\u015fana haramd\u0131r\u201d[15]<\/b><\/a> <\/span><\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAllah-\u00fc Te\u00e2l\u00e2, fahi\u015f ve \u00e7irkin s\u00f6z s\u00f6yleyeni sevmez<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u201d[16]<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hay\u00e2n\u0131n iman ile hay\u00e2s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n da imans\u0131zl\u0131k ile ilgisi a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131r. Hay\u00e2s\u0131z\u0131n k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011fe ve k\u00fcfre d\u00fc\u015fmesi kolayla\u015f\u0131r. Hadis-i \u015ferifte, \u201cHay\u00e2n\u0131n azl\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00fcf\u00fcrd\u00fcr<\/span><\/i><\/b>\u201d[17]<\/a> buyrulmaktad\u0131r. Hay\u00e2s\u0131z olan m\u00fcr\u00fcvvetsiz olacakt\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar\u0131, hay\u00e2s\u0131zlar\u0131n zarar\u0131ndan sak\u0131nd\u0131rmak i\u00e7in tedbirler al\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Hadis-i \u015ferifte, \u201cHay\u00e2 \u00f6rt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc \u00fczerinden atanlar ve insanlar\u0131 yoldan \u00e7\u0131karanlara h\u00fcrmet ve ra\u011fbet etmek fas\u0131kl\u0131kt\u0131r\u201d<\/i><\/b>[18]<\/a> buyrulmaktad\u0131r. Bug\u00fcn ahlaks\u0131z diziler, filmler ve \u00f6zellikle porno siteleri ahlak\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 yok eden \u015feytan tuzaklar\u0131d\u0131r.<\/b><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

E\u011flence m\u00fcbah ve \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc olmal\u0131d\u0131r!<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

As\u0131k y\u00fczl\u00fc, somurtkan insanlar\u0131n pek sevilmedi\u011fini hepimiz biliriz. G\u00fcler y\u00fczl\u00fc insanlar\u0131n satt\u0131\u011f\u0131 sirkeyi al\u0131r\u0131z da, as\u0131k suratl\u0131 insanlar\u0131n satt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bal\u0131 almak istemeyiz. Bu, insanlar\u0131n tabiat\u0131nda bulunan bir \u00f6zelliktir. Yo\u011fun \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar ve \u00fcz\u00fcc\u00fc olaylar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda s\u0131k\u0131lan insan\u0131n, biraz rahatlamaya ve ne\u015feli olmaya ihtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131r. Bunun i\u00e7in ara s\u0131ra f\u0131kra anlatmak, \u015fakala\u015fmak, spor yapmak, me\u015fru oyunlara kat\u0131lmak suretiyle stres atmak faydal\u0131d\u0131r. Peygamber Efendimizin de \u015fakala\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, \u201cBen de \u015faka yapar\u0131m, fakat do\u011fru konu\u015furum\u201d<\/b> buyurdu\u011fu hadis kitaplar\u0131nda kay\u0131tl\u0131d\u0131r. Bir defas\u0131nda, ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131na, \u201cCennete kocakar\u0131 girmez\u201d <\/b>buyurmu\u015f, kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f, bunun \u00fczerine kad\u0131na, \u201cSen o zaman gen\u00e7 olacaks\u0131n!\u201d<\/i><\/b> \u015feklinde hat\u0131rlatma yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. G\u00fcler y\u00fczl\u00fc, yumu\u015fak ve cana yak\u0131n insanlarla konu\u015fmak, tan\u0131\u015fmak ve kayna\u015fmak kolayd\u0131r. As\u0131k suratl\u0131 ve kaba tav\u0131rl\u0131 insanlar ile konu\u015fmak ise s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130htiya\u00e7 kadar konu\u015fulup, bir an \u00f6nce ayr\u0131lmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131l\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ancak g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde m\u00fcstehcen f\u0131kralar\u0131n s\u00f6ylenmesi ve porno filmlerin izlenmesi yayg\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bu durum haya damarlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7atlatm\u0131\u015f, ahlak\u0131 yozla\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. \u015eakala\u015fmas\u0131 ve insanlar\u0131n birbirlerini ho\u015f tutmas\u0131 g\u00fczeldir ama bunun do\u011fru yolla olmas\u0131 laz\u0131md\u0131r. Dinimizin caiz saymad\u0131\u011f\u0131, Peygamber Efendimiz\u2019in yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve yasaklad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyler akl\u0131 ve vicdan\u0131 karart\u0131r. Bunlar\u0131 yap\u0131p da \u00e7evremizdeki insanlara \u201czarars\u0131z\u201d mesaj\u0131n\u0131 vermek g\u00fcnaht\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar birbirlerini \u00f6rnek al\u0131rlar, hele bir de hat\u0131r\u0131 say\u0131l\u0131r bir ki\u015fi isek bizim daha da dikkatli olmam\u0131z \u015fartt\u0131r. Rabbim bizleri hay\u00e2s\u0131z ve imans\u0131z \u00f6lmekten korusun diye dua etmeli ve dikkatli olmal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Ba\u015fl\u0131ca Ki\u015filik Bozukluklar\u0131:<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Hayas\u0131zl\u0131k ve utanmazl\u0131k k\u00f6t\u00fc oldu\u011fu gibi, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 pintilik ve p\u0131s\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k psikolojisi de yanl\u0131\u015f ve yersizdir. Duygularda, insan ili\u015fkilerinde, davran\u0131\u015flarda dengesizlik ve a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 kaybetme korkusu da yayg\u0131n ve gereksizdir…<\/span><\/b> Borderline ki\u015filik<\/b>: (Tam s\u0131n\u0131r noktas\u0131ndaki k\u0131r\u0131lgan ruh hali; kendini kaplan-kahraman g\u00f6r\u00fcrken, bir anda kedi gibi p\u0131s\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011fa ve korkakl\u0131\u011fa kap\u0131lma psikolojisi)<\/i><\/b> genelde \u00e7ocuklukta ya\u015fan\u0131lan \u00f6nemli bir kay\u0131p ya\u015fanmas\u0131, anne-baba ile olan ba\u011f\u0131n dengesiz olmas\u0131, travma, k\u00f6t\u00fc muamele ya da duygusal olarak yoksun b\u0131rak\u0131lmas\u0131 gibi nedenlere dayanmaktad\u0131r. Olduk\u00e7a yayg\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fclen bir hastal\u0131kt\u0131r, toplumun y\u00fczde 2 ya da 3\u2019\u00fcn\u00fcn sahip oldu\u011fu psikolojik bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131d\u0131r. Borderline ki\u015filik<\/b> bozuklu\u011fu olanlar, s\u00fcrekli olarak terk edilme duygusunun ya\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 panik ile m\u00fccadele etmek durumundad\u0131r. Genel olarak davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131z de\u011fi\u015fken ve ani hareketlerden olu\u015fuyorsa, duygular\u0131n\u0131z s\u00fcrekli farkl\u0131la\u015f\u0131yorsa, insanlarla olan ili\u015fkileriniz haliyle yo\u011fun ve f\u0131rt\u0131nal\u0131d\u0131r. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Kaybetme korkusu ve yenilgi endi\u015fesi:<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Ruhi olgunlu\u011fa ula\u015famayanlar\u0131n, bir taraftan de\u011fer verdikleri insanlara tutunmak i\u00e7in \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca \u00e7abalarken, bir yandan da kaybetme korkusundan ka\u00e7\u0131nmak i\u00e7in onlar\u0131 \u00f6nemsizle\u015ftirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 saptanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k duygular\u0131n\u0131 uzakla\u015ft\u0131rmak i\u00e7in \u00e7evrelerini, insanlarla doldurmaya, hatta sevmedikleri insanlar\u0131 bile etraf\u0131na toplamaktad\u0131r. \u0130nsanlarla olan ili\u015fkilerini de strese yol a\u00e7an olaylar, \u00f6rne\u011fin maddi zorluklar ve olumsuz tav\u0131rlar bu tiplerin psikolojisini daha da y\u0131pratmaktad\u0131r. <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k ve terk edilmi\u015flik d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi:<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Borderline ki\u015fili\u011fe (de\u011fi\u015fken ve dengesiz ki\u015filik bozuklu\u011fu haline) sahip ki\u015filerin kendine g\u00fcven duygular\u0131 \u00e7ok k\u0131r\u0131lgan oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in insanlar taraf\u0131ndan kabul edilmeye ya da reddedilmeye kar\u015f\u0131 a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 derecede hassasiyet g\u00f6sterilir. E\u011fer bu hastal\u0131\u011fa sahipseniz, bir ili\u015fkiniz olsa bile kendinizi d\u0131\u015flanm\u0131\u015f ve yaln\u0131z hissedersiniz. Olas\u0131 bir kay\u0131p, ayr\u0131l\u0131k ya da terk edilme ihtimali kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda kendinizi s\u00fcrekli tehdit alt\u0131nda zannedersiniz ve genelde hiddet, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 \u00f6fke, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lama ya da s\u00f6zl\u00fc sald\u0131r\u0131lar ile tepki verirsiniz. Borderline ki\u015fili\u011fe sahip insanlar\u0131n duygular\u0131n\u0131 kontrol etmekte zorland\u0131klar\u0131 yayg\u0131n olarak bilinmektedir. Ayr\u0131ca baz\u0131 durumlarda yaln\u0131zl\u0131k ve terk edilmi\u015flik duygular\u0131ndan kurtulmak i\u00e7in alkol ve uyu\u015fturucuya s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmak, yeme bozukluklar\u0131, dikkat \u00e7ekmek i\u00e7in kendine zarar vermeye hatta intihara kalk\u0131\u015fmak gibi davran\u0131\u015flar g\u00f6r\u00fclebilir <\/span><\/p>\n

Tedavi y\u00f6ntemleri:<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Ki\u015filik hastal\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n erken ya\u015flarda geli\u015fiyor olmas\u0131 ve insanlar\u0131n kendilerini bu hastal\u0131k ile tan\u0131ml\u0131yor olmas\u0131 tedavinin \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc zorla\u015ft\u0131rmaktad\u0131r. Tedavinin ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olabilmesi i\u00e7in ki\u015finin k\u00f6kle\u015fmi\u015f davran\u0131\u015f kal\u0131plar\u0131na, yakla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131na, bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131na, ili\u015fki yap\u0131lar\u0131na ve kapasitelerine bak\u0131lmas\u0131 laz\u0131md\u0131r. Genelde ki\u015filik problemleri psikoterapi ile \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlenebilmesine ra\u011fmen, uzun zaman i\u00e7inde yerle\u015fmi\u015f olan bu dengesiz duygu, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve davran\u0131\u015f al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek yo\u011fun ve s\u00fcrekli tekrarlanan bir tedavi ve \u00f6\u011frenme s\u00fcrecini ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz k\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. \u0130mani duygular\u0131n\u0131, Kur\u2019an’la ba\u011flar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7lendirmek ve ibadet al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu ki\u015filer i\u00e7in manevi bir ila\u00e7t\u0131r. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00d6zellikle ki\u015fi bu saplant\u0131lardan kurtulmak istiyorsa, iyile\u015fmek i\u00e7in \u00e7aba sarf ediyorsa ve problemlerinin sorumlulu\u011funu \u00fcstleniyorsa s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 a\u015fmas\u0131 kolayla\u015f\u0131r. Ama di\u011fer tarafta ki\u015fi sorunlar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fkalar\u0131ndan ya da \u00e7evresinden kaynakland\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131yorsa, kendi sorumlulu\u011funu \u00fcstlenmeyi reddediyorsa ve problemlerini \u00e7\u00f6zemeyecek kadar g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz ve zay\u0131f oldu\u011funu iddia ediyorsa iyile\u015fme s\u00fcreci haliyle uzayacakt\u0131r.<\/span><\/p>\n

Psikolojik Bozukluk Belirtileri:<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

1- \u0130nsanlar\u0131 kutsalla\u015ft\u0131rma ile a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lama aras\u0131nda s\u00fcrekli de\u011fi\u015fen bir ili\u015fki <\/span><\/p>\n

2- Tehlikeli boyutlarda kendine g\u00fcven eksikli\u011fi ve dengesizlik <\/span><\/p>\n

3- Ruh halinde s\u00fcrekli ve b\u00fcy\u00fck de\u011fi\u015fimler. <\/span><\/p>\n

4- A\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ve yo\u011fun \u00f6fke belirtileri <\/span><\/p>\n

5- K\u0131zg\u0131n ve sald\u0131rgan patlama halleri<\/span><\/p>\n

6- Ayr\u0131l\u0131kta ya da kay\u0131p an\u0131nda panik pisikolojisi<\/span><\/p>\n

7- Ki\u015finin s\u00fcrekli olarak kendini bo\u015f ve de\u011fersiz hissetmesi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Buna e\u015flik eden problemler:<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– Depresyon ve distimi tav\u0131rlar\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

– Alkol-madde kullan\u0131m al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131klar\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

– Yeme bozukluklar\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

– Travma sonras\u0131 stres s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

– Dissosiyatif kimlik bunal\u0131mlar\u0131<\/span><\/p>\n

– Di\u011fer ki\u015filik bozukluklar\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ve i\u015fte sevdi\u011finiz insan tam bu ‘s\u0131n\u0131r’daysa…<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– Bir \u015feye karar verdi\u011finde sizin de onay\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 almak isteyecektir. Onun her hareketini onaylama yerine, \u00e7e\u015fitli se\u00e7enekler sunulmas\u0131 daha iyidir. ‘Ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerinde durabilirsen sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 olacaks\u0131n’ mesaj\u0131 verilmelidir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– \u00d6fke patlamalar\u0131nda onun yan\u0131nda oldu\u011funuzu hissettirin. ‘\u015eu an yan\u0131nday\u0131m, seni b\u0131rakm\u0131yorum’ diyerek s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 azaltmaya y\u00f6nelin. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k duygusu azald\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6fke krizi ve stresi sona erecektir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– Olumsuz davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda so\u011fuk davranmay\u0131n, onunla ilgilenin. So\u011fuk davranmak ya da surat asmak terk edilme duygusunu yo\u011funla\u015ft\u0131rarak sald\u0131rgan davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 art\u0131rabilir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– Strese dayanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in sorumluluklar\u0131n\u0131 yerine getirmedi\u011finde yalana ba\u015fvurabilir. Su\u00e7lay\u0131c\u0131 olmadan sorunlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 dile getirin ve dertle\u015fin.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

– Borderline ki\u015filik bozuklu\u011fu tedavisi ila\u00e7 ve psikoterapi gerektiriyorsa, tedavi olmas\u0131 i\u00e7in ikna edilmeli ve doktoruyla diyaloga ge\u00e7melidir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk ihmali ve istismar\u0131<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk ihmali ve istismar\u0131n\u0131n hem \u00e7ocuklar, hem aileler, hem de toplum \u00fczerinde \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu devam edecek etkileri oldu\u011funu belirten uzmanlar, ihmal ve istismar\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n genellikle fiziksel, ruhsal, davran\u0131\u015fsal ve sosyal a\u00e7\u0131lardan ele al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ancak ger\u00e7ek ya\u015famda t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 birbirinden ay\u0131rman\u0131n olanaks\u0131z oldu\u011funu hat\u0131rlatmaktad\u0131r. Fiziksel sonu\u00e7lar (\u00f6rne\u011fin \u00e7ocu\u011fun geli\u015fmekte olan beyninin hasar g\u00f6rmesi gibi) psikolojik sonu\u00e7lar da do\u011furmaktad\u0131r (zihinsel geli\u015fim gerili\u011fi veya duygusal bozukluklar gibi). Psikolojik sorunlar ise s\u0131kl\u0131kla y\u00fcksek riskli davran\u0131\u015flara yol a\u00e7maktad\u0131r. \u00d6rne\u011fin depresyon ve kayg\u0131 ki\u015finin sigara, alkol ya da uyu\u015fturucu kullanmas\u0131na neden olmaktad\u0131r. \u00c7ocuk istismar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funlukla i\u00e7 i\u00e7e ge\u00e7mi\u015f ve birbirinden ayr\u0131lmas\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 olsa da en s\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fclen fiziksel, psikolojik ve davran\u0131\u015fsal sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 vard\u0131r.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130hmal ve istismar\u0131n fiziksel sonu\u00e7lar\u0131:<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130hmal ya da istismar\u0131n fiziksel etkisi nispeten hafif (morluk, kesik gibi) veya \u00e7ok a\u011f\u0131r (kemik k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131, i\u00e7 kanama ve hatta \u00f6l\u00fcm) olabilir. Baz\u0131 hallerde fiziksel etkiler ge\u00e7ici olabilir ancak \u00e7ocu\u011fun ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ac\u0131 ve \u0131st\u0131rab\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fclmesi m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildir. \u00d6te yandan \u00e7ocuk istismar\u0131n\u0131n uzun vadeli fiziksel ve ruhsal sonu\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131n neler oldu\u011fu hala tam olarak belirlenmemi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bunlardan baz\u0131lar\u0131<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Sars\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bebek sendromu<\/span><\/b>: Bir bebe\u011fi sarsman\u0131n ilk etkisi kusma, beyin sars\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131, solunum s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131, n\u00f6betler ve \u00f6l\u00fcm olabilir. Uzun vadeli sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 ise k\u00f6rl\u00fck, \u00f6\u011frenme g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckleri, mental retardasyon, serebral palsi veya fel\u00e7 olabilmektedir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Beyin geli\u015fiminin zedelenmesi<\/span><\/b>: \u00c7ocuk ihmali ve istismar\u0131n\u0131n baz\u0131 hallerde beynin belirli b\u00f6l\u00fcmlerinin do\u011fru bir \u015fekilde geli\u015fmesini engelleyerek fiziksel, zihinsel ve duygusal geli\u015fimi zedeleyebildi\u011fi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalarla tespit edilmi\u015ftir. Ayr\u0131ca kronik istismar\u0131n neden oldu\u011fu stres beynin baz\u0131 b\u00f6lgelerinde “a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 uyar\u0131lmaya” neden olarak hiperaktivite, uyku bozukluklar\u0131 ve anksiyeteye yol a\u00e7abilmekte, travma sonras\u0131 stres bozuklu\u011fu, dikkat eksikli\u011fi\/hiperaktivite bozuklu\u011fu, davran\u0131\u015f bozuklu\u011fu ve \u00f6\u011frenme ve haf\u0131za ile ilgili g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcklere de neden olabilmektedir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130hmal ve istismar\u0131n ruh sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan sonu\u00e7lar\u0131<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130hmal ve istismar\u0131n ilk ba\u015fta olu\u015fturdu\u011fu etkiler; izolasyon, korku ve p\u0131s\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131k, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck \u00f6zg\u00fcven, depresyon ve ili\u015fki bozukluklar\u0131 ve panik gibi ya\u015fam boyu s\u00fcrebilen sonu\u00e7lar do\u011furabilmektedir.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ruh sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bozulmas\u0131:<\/span><\/b> Uzun vadeli bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmada \u00e7ocuklu\u011funda istismara u\u011frayan gen\u00e7 yeti\u015fkinlerin y\u00fczde 80\u2019inin 21 ya\u015f\u0131nda en az bir psikiyatrik bozukluk alameti g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi belirlenmi\u015ftir. Bu gen\u00e7 yeti\u015fkinler; depresyon, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 tela\u015f ve tedirginlik, i\u00e7ine kapan\u0131kl\u0131k, \u00fcrkeklik ve intihar giri\u015fimleri de dahil \u00e7e\u015fitli sorunlar g\u00f6stermi\u015flerdir. \u0130hmal ve istismar ile ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131 di\u011fer psikolojik ve duygusal durumlar aras\u0131nda ise panik bozuklu\u011fu, disosyatif bozukluklar, dikkat eksikli\u011fi\/hiperaktivite bozuklu\u011fu, travma sonras\u0131 stres bozuklu\u011fu ve reaktif ba\u011flanma bozuklu\u011fu g\u00f6zlenmi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Zihinsel sorunlar\u0131n artmas\u0131:<\/span><\/b> ABD\u2019de yap\u0131lan bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma, istismara u\u011frayan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n zihinsel kapasite, dil geli\u015fimi ve akademik ba\u015far\u0131 puanlar\u0131n\u0131n genel pop\u00fclasyondan daha d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck oldu\u011funu tespit etmi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sosyal intibak zorluklar\u0131:<\/span><\/b> Yak\u0131nlar\u0131 veya bak\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131taraf\u0131ndan ihmal ve istismar edilen \u00e7ocuklar \u00e7o\u011funlukla bunlara kar\u015f\u0131 g\u00fcven duygusunu yitirmektedir. Bu g\u00fcven sorunlar\u0131 di\u011fer yeti\u015fkinlerle ve akranlar\u0131 ile ba\u011flanma sorunlar\u0131n\u0131n ya\u015fanmas\u0131n\u0131n da nedenidir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130hmal ve istismar\u0131n davran\u0131\u015flarla ilgili sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk ihmal ve istismar\u0131n\u0131n t\u00fcm kurbanlar\u0131nda davran\u0131\u015f sorunlar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fclmeyebilir, ancak \u00e7ocuk ihmali ve istismar\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131daki davran\u0131\u015f sorunlar\u0131na yol a\u00e7ma olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcksektir:<\/span><\/p>\n

Ergenlik d\u00f6neminde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131lan sorunlar:<\/span><\/b> Ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar ihmal ve istismar edilen \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n en az y\u00fczde 25\u2019inin su\u00e7a y\u00f6nelme, cinsel dengesizlikler, e\u011fitim ve \u00f6\u011fretimde ilgisizlikler, uyu\u015fturucu kullan\u0131m\u0131 ve ruh sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 sorunlar\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuk su\u00e7lular ve yeti\u015fkin su\u00e7lular:<\/span><\/b> ABD Ulusal Adalet Enstit\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma ihmal ve suiistimal edilen \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n, \u201c\u00e7ocuk su\u00e7lu olarak tutuklanma<\/b>\u201d oran\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fczde 59\u2019u buldu\u011funu g\u00f6stermi\u015ftir. Ayn\u0131 ara\u015ft\u0131rma, ihmal ve istismar\u0131n yeti\u015fkinlikte su\u00e7a y\u00f6nelik davran\u0131\u015fta bulunma olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fczde 28 ve \u015fiddet i\u00e7eren su\u00e7 i\u015fleme olas\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 y\u00fczde 30 oran\u0131nda art\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirlemi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Alkol ve uyu\u015fturucu kullan\u0131m\u0131:<\/span><\/b> Ara\u015ft\u0131rmalar ihmal ve istismar\u0131n sigara, alkol ve uyu\u015fturucu y\u00f6nelimini h\u0131zland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tespit etmi\u015ftir. ABD Uyu\u015fturucu \u0130stismar\u0131 Ulusal Enstit\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ara\u015ft\u0131rmada uyu\u015fturucu tedavi program\u0131na kat\u0131lan ki\u015filerin \u00fc\u00e7te ikisinin \u00e7ocuklu\u011funda suiistimal edildi\u011fi belirlenmi\u015ftir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u0130stismar davran\u0131\u015f\u0131<\/span><\/b>: Kendi evlatlar\u0131na istismarda bulunan anne-babalar da, s\u0131kl\u0131kla \u00e7ocukluklar\u0131nda istismar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f kimselerdir. \u0130hmal ve istismar edilen \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yakla\u015f\u0131k \u00fc\u00e7te birinin yeti\u015fkin d\u00f6nemlerinde kendi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 ihmal ve istismar ettikleri bildirilmektedir.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Karakter \u015fekillenmesi s\u00fcrecindeki \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131za nas\u0131l davranal\u0131m?<\/span> <\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Peygamber Efendimiz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n aklen ve ahlaken yeti\u015fip olgunla\u015fmas\u0131na da, oyunlar\u0131na ve psikolojik doyumlar\u0131na da \u00e7ok \u00f6nem vermi\u015f, hatta zaman zaman onlarla oyun oynayarak ilgilenmi\u015ftir. Hz. Peygamber (sav), “\u00c7ocu\u011fu olan onunla \u00e7ocukla\u015fs\u0131n<\/i><\/b>” diyerek, anne babalara \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 bizzat e\u011flendirmelerini tavsiye etmi\u015ftir. Peygamberimiz (sav) \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n y\u00fczme, ko\u015fu, g\u00fcre\u015f gibi oyun ve sporlarla me\u015fgul edilmelerini de tavsiye etmi\u015f, hatta torunlar\u0131n\u0131 ve \u00e7evresindeki \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 buna te\u015fvik etmi\u015ftir. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131zla oynay\u0131n\u201d emri, \u201conlar\u0131 sosyal hayata haz\u0131rlay\u0131n ve kendilerine \u00f6z g\u00fcvenlerini kazand\u0131r\u0131n\u201d demektir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

-Bir\u00e7ok sahabe, Peygamber Efendimizin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 nas\u0131l sevdi\u011fini, onlarla nas\u0131l ilgilendi\u011fini ve oyunlar oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 haber vermi\u015ftir. Bunlardan baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u015f\u00f6yledir: <\/span><\/p>\n

Hz. Enes (ra): “Resulullah aleyhissalatu vesselam \u00e7ocuklarla \u015fakala\u015fmada insanlar\u0131n en \u00f6nde olan\u0131yd\u0131.”[19]<\/b><\/a> <\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

-El Bera (ra): “Peygamber Sallallahu aleyhi vesellemi Hasan omzunda iken g\u00f6rd\u00fcm.<\/i><\/b>..”[20]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

-“Peygamberimiz (sav) k\u0131z\u0131 Hz. Fat\u0131ma (ra)’ya \u015f\u00f6yle derdi: ‘Haydi \u015fu o\u011fullar\u0131m\u0131 (Hasan ve H\u00fcseyin) \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r bana!’ Ondan sonra o ikisini g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne basar, koklard\u0131.”[21]<\/b><\/a> <\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

-Ya’la \u0130bnu M\u00fcrre (ra) Peygamberimiz (sav)’in \u00e7ocuklara olan sevgisine, onlarla nas\u0131l \u015fakala\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131na dair \u015funlar\u0131 anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: -“Bir grup ashap, Resulullah ile birlikte Aleyhissalatu Vesselam’\u0131n davet edildi\u011fi bir yeme\u011fe gittiler. Yolda torunu H\u00fcseyin’e rastlad\u0131lar, \u00e7ocuklarla oynuyordu. -“Resulullah (sav) \u00e7ocu\u011fu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce ilerleyip cemaatin \u00f6n\u00fcne ge\u00e7ip onu tutmak i\u00e7in ellerini a\u00e7t\u0131. \u00c7ocuk ise sa\u011fa sola ka\u00e7maya ba\u015flad\u0131. Resulullah da onu takliden sa\u011fa sola ko\u015farak, tutuncaya kadar pe\u015finde ko\u015ftu. Yakalay\u0131nca ellerinden birini \u00e7enesinin alt\u0131na di\u011ferini de ensesine koyup \u00f6pt\u00fc ve ‘H\u00fcseyin bendendir. Ben de H\u00fcseyin\u2019denim. Kim H\u00fcseyin’i severse Allah da onu sevsin. H\u00fcseyin s\u0131btlardan bir s\u0131btt\u0131r (torun)’ buyurdu<\/i><\/b>.”[22]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

-Hz. Enes (ra)’in bildirdi\u011fine g\u00f6re Resulullah (sav), “d\u00fcnyadaki iki reyhan\u0131m<\/i><\/b>” dedi\u011fi torunlar\u0131 Hasan ve H\u00fcseyin’i s\u0131k s\u0131k yan\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rt\u0131p onlar\u0131 koklar ve ba\u011fr\u0131na basard\u0131.[23]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

Peygamberimiz \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 kucaklard\u0131. Bu davran\u0131\u015f, onlara sevgi g\u00f6stermesi ve \u015fefkatle e\u011fitmesidir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

“Babam beni, Hz. Abbas (ra) ise o\u011flu Fadl\u0131 (ra)’\u0131 Resulullah’a g\u00f6nderdi. Huzurlar\u0131na girdi\u011fimiz zaman bizi sa\u011fl\u0131 sollu oturttu ve bizi \u00f6ylesine s\u0131k\u0131 kucaklad\u0131 ki daha kuvvetlisini g\u00f6rmedik.”[24]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

Efendimiz \u00e7ocuklara hay\u0131r dualar ederdi. Bu, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131za ve yak\u0131nlar\u0131m\u0131za sevgimizi s\u00f6zle ve dua ile iletmemiz gerekti\u011fini \u00f6\u011fretmektedir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Resulullah (sav) \u00e7ocuklara olan sevgisini g\u00f6sterirken s\u0131k\u00e7a onlar\u0131n ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fard\u0131 ve onlara hay\u0131r dualar\u0131 ederdi. \u00d6rne\u011fin Yusuf \u0130bni Abdillah \u0130bni Selam (ra), “Hz. Peygamber (sav) beni Yusuf diye isimlendirdi ve ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 ok\u015fad\u0131”<\/b> demi\u015ftir. Amr \u0130bnu Hureys (ra) ise annesinin kendisini Hz. Peygamber (sav)’in huzuruna g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, Resulullah (sav)’\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fay\u0131p bol r\u0131zka kavu\u015fmas\u0131 i\u00e7in dua etti\u011fini, Abdullah \u0130bnu Utbe (ra) de be\u015f-alt\u0131 ya\u015flar\u0131ndayken Peygamberimiz Efendimizin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ok\u015fayarak, z\u00fcrriyeti ve bereketi i\u00e7in dua etti\u011fini hat\u0131rlayabildi\u011fini s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftir.[25]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklara ikram ederdi. B\u00f6ylece onlara payla\u015fmay\u0131, yard\u0131mla\u015fmay\u0131, fiilen \u00f6\u011fretmekte ve g\u00f6stermektedir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Hz. Muhammed (sav)’in \u00e7ocuklara g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi ilgili ve sevgi dolu tavr\u0131, Ebu H\u00fcreyre (ra) de \u015fu \u00f6rneklerle anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: <\/span><\/p>\n

“Meyvenin ilk \u00e7\u0131kan\u0131 getirildi\u011fi zaman Resulullah (sav) \u015f\u00f6yle derdi: ‘Allah’\u0131m Bize, Medine\u2019mize, meyvelerimize, m\u00fcdd ve sa\u0131m\u0131za (yani \u00f6l\u00e7eklerimize) kat kat bereket ver’ <\/i><\/b>diye dua ederdi. Sonra meyveyi orada bulunan en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015ftakine verirdi.”[26]<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

Hz. Peygamberimiz \u00e7ocuklara kar\u015f\u0131 yumu\u015fak ve \u015fefkatliydi. Bu, onlar\u0131n karakterini \u015fekillendirmek i\u00e7indir.<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

“\u00c7ocu\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131 yumu\u015fak davranmak Allah Resul\u00fc’n\u00fcn adetlerindendi. Allah Resul\u00fc bir seferden d\u00f6nd\u00fcklerinde \u00e7ocuklar kendilerini kar\u015f\u0131larlard\u0131. Allah Resul\u00fc de durur sahabelerine \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 kald\u0131rmalar\u0131n\u0131 emrederdi. Onlar da \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n kimini Allah Resul\u00fc’n\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcne kimisini terkisine bindirir ve baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 da kendileri bineklerine y\u00fcklerdi.”[27]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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[1]<\/span><\/a> Nisa: 43<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[2]<\/span><\/a> Ebu Nuaym<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[3]<\/span><\/a> Tirmiz\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[4]<\/span><\/a> M\u00fcslim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[5]<\/span><\/a> M\u00fcslim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[6]<\/span><\/a> Buhar\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[7]<\/span><\/a> Buhar\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[8]<\/span><\/a> \u0130bni Mace<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[9]<\/span><\/a> Deylem\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[10]<\/span><\/a> Taber\u00e2n\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[11]<\/span><\/a> Deylem\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[12]<\/span><\/a> Hakim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[13]<\/span><\/a> Nes\u00e2\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[14]<\/span><\/a> Tirmiz\u00ee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[15]<\/span><\/a> \u0130bni Ebidd\u00fcnya<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[16]<\/span><\/a> \u0130bni Ebidd\u00fcnya<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[17]<\/span><\/a> Hakim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[18]<\/span><\/a> Haraiti<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[19]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte, Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 15. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s.209<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[20]<\/span><\/a> \u0130mam Muhammed Bin Muhammed bin S\u00fcleyman er-Rudani, B\u00fcy\u00fck Hadis K\u00fclliyat\u0131, Cem’ul-fevaid min Cami’il-usul ve Mecma’iz-zevaid, cilt 5, \u0130z Yay\u0131nc\u0131l\u0131k, s.135<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[21]<\/span><\/a> \u0130mam Muhammed Bin Muhammed bin S\u00fcleyman er-Rudani, B\u00fcy\u00fck Hadis K\u00fclliyat\u0131, Cem’ul-fevaid min Cami’il-usul ve Mecma’iz-zevaid, cilt 5, \u0130z Yay\u0131nc\u0131l\u0131k, s.136<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[22]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 16. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s.519<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[23]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte, Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 2. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s. 508<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[24]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte, Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 2. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s. 508<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[25]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte, Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 2. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s. 509<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[26]<\/span><\/a> Haydar Hatipo\u011flu, S\u00fcnen-i \u0130bni Mace Tercemesi ve \u015eerhi, Kahraman Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, 9. cilt, \u0130stanbul 1983, s. 82<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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[27]<\/span><\/a> K\u00fct\u00fcb-i Sitte, Muhtasar\u0131 Terc\u00fcme ve \u015eerhi, Prof. Dr. \u0130brahim Canan, 2. cilt, Ak\u00e7a\u011f Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, Ankara, s. 510<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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Anne babas\u0131ndan ilgi ve \u015fefkat g\u00f6rmeyen, hatta s\u00fcrekli hakaret ve \u015fiddet g\u00f6ren, aile kavgalar\u0131 ve huzursuzluk ortam\u0131 i\u00e7inde yeti\u015fen, bak\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n, yak\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n ve kre\u015f hocalar\u0131n\u0131n ters ve sert tepkilerinden etkilenen, cinsel istismar ve sap\u0131k davran\u0131\u015flarla taciz edilen, \u015fiddet i\u00e7erikli ve \u015fehvet tahrikli dizi ve filimler izleyen \u00e7ocuklar\u2026  \u0130mani telkinden ve ahlaki \u00f6\u011fretilerden habersiz b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fclen, Milli ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[162],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mayis-2014"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2901"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2901\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}