{"id":36624,"date":"2026-08-06T21:34:47","date_gmt":"2026-08-06T18:34:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/?p=36624"},"modified":"2026-08-06T23:31:46","modified_gmt":"2026-08-06T20:31:46","slug":"ogut-vermekle-ovunmek-ayridir-ve-karakter-cocuklukta-olusmaktadir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/ozel-yazilar\/ogut-vermekle-ovunmek-ayridir-ve-karakter-cocuklukta-olusmaktadir\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00d6\u011e\u00dcT VERMEKLE \u00d6V\u00dcNMEK AYRIDIR
VE
KARAKTER \u00c7OCUKLUKTA OLU\u015eMAKTADIR"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

\u00d6\u011e\u00dcT VERMEKLE \u00d6V\u00dcNMEK AYRIDIR
\nVE
\nKARAKTER \u00c7OCUKLUKTA OLU\u015eMAKTADIR\n<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"\"\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

Tahdis-i nimet; Allah’\u0131n ikram etti\u011fi nimet ve faziletleri, \u00f6v\u00fcnmek ve b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil, Rabbine te\u015fekk\u00fcr etmek ve nimetlerin as\u0131l sahibini belirtmek anlam\u0131ndad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Duh\u00e2 Suresi 11. ayeti, sadece buna izin de\u011fil, ayn\u0131 zamanda bir emir makam\u0131ndad\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cVe (Sana l\u00fctfetti\u011fi b\u00fct\u00fcn bu \u00fcst\u00fcn fazilet ve meziyetlerden dolay\u0131, \u00f6v\u00fcnmek ve b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil, ama sevinmek ve \u015f\u00fckretmek niyetiyle) Rabbinin nimetini (an\u0131p minnet ve memnuniyetle) hat\u0131rlat ve anlat (ki Makam-\u0131 Mahmud\u2019a ula\u015fas\u0131n.)\u201d<\/em><\/strong> (Duh\u00e2 Suresi 11. ayet)[1]<\/a>\u00a0 <\/strong><\/p>

Hz. H\u00fcseyin Efendimiz bu ayeti \u015f\u00f6yle yorumlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r:<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cBir hay\u0131r i\u015fledi\u011fin (ve Allah’\u0131n inayetiyle bir ba\u015far\u0131ya eri\u015fti\u011fin) zaman ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n bunlar\u0131 \u00f6rnek almas\u0131n\u0131 arzularsan, bunlar\u0131 insanlara anlat, ki hay\u0131rda yar\u0131\u015fs\u0131nlar. Fakat riyak\u00e2rl\u0131ktan sak\u0131n!\u201d<\/em><\/strong> buyurmu\u015flard\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

Islah ehli m\u00fcr\u015fitler ve ihlas sahibi hikmet ehli bilginler; talebe ve takip\u00e7ilerinin kendisine itimat ve itibar\u0131n\u0131 art\u0131rmak, b\u00f6ylece Allah’\u0131n l\u00fctfetti\u011fi ilim ve ikramdan daha fazla yararlanmalar\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamak i\u00e7in, bazen tahdis-i nimet makam\u0131nda, Cenab-\u0131 Hakk\u0131n \u00f6zel ba\u011f\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ve kolayl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 onlara hat\u0131rlat\u0131rlar. <\/strong><\/p>

Ama kalbinde hastal\u0131k bulunan baz\u0131 haset ve enaniyet sahipleri ise bu anlat\u0131mlar\u0131; \u201cKendini be\u011fenmek ve be\u011fendirmek, nefsini \u00f6vmek ve b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenmek\u2026\u201d<\/em> \u015feklinde yorumlay\u0131p itiraza, ithama ve ifsada ba\u015flarlar. Ve tabi b\u00f6ylece, as\u0131l kendi gizli \u00e7\u0131banlar\u0131n\u0131, nank\u00f6rl\u00fck ve fesatl\u0131k \u00e7abalar\u0131n\u0131 da a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa vurmu\u015f olurlar. <\/strong><\/p>

Oysa Kur\u2019an-\u0131 Kerim\u2019de bir\u00e7ok peygamber, sahip k\u0131l\u0131nd\u0131klar\u0131 marifet ve meziyetlerini, insanlar \u00f6rnek ve ibret als\u0131nlar, \u00f6zenip yararlans\u0131nlar diye \u201ctahdis-i nimet = Allah\u2019\u0131n nimetlerini \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr makam\u0131nda aktarmak\u201d<\/em> \u00fczere insanlara anlatm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00d6rne\u011fin, Kehf Suresi 66, 67 ve 68. ayetlerinde, Hz. H\u0131z\u0131r, -h\u00e2\u015f\u00e2- Hz. Musa’ya \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck taslamam\u0131\u015f, sadece talebe ve takip\u00e7ili\u011fin \u015fartlar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

\u201c(Hz.) Musa, ona (H\u0131z\u0131r\u2019a): \u2018Sana \u00f6\u011fretilen ilimden; r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcme kavu\u015fmam (ve tam olgunla\u015f\u0131p ger\u00e7e\u011fe ula\u015fmam) i\u00e7in, bana da \u00f6\u011fretmek \u00fczere, size t\u00e2bi (ve talebe) olabilir miyim?\u2019 diye (sormu\u015flard\u0131).<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

O (Zat, H\u0131z\u0131r AS) ise: \u2018Do\u011frusu, sen benimle birlikte kalmaya ve (yapt\u0131klar\u0131ma katlanmaya) asla sabredip dayanamazs\u0131n!\u2019<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

\u2018(Bu halini de pek yad\u0131rgamam ve k\u0131namam) \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc i\u00e7 y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc bilmedi\u011fin (hikmet ve hakikati \u00f6\u011fretilmedi\u011fin) bir \u015feye, nas\u0131l sabredip dayanacaks\u0131n?\u2019 diye (hat\u0131rlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131).\u201d<\/em><\/strong> (Kehf Suresi 66, 67 ve 68. ayetler)[2]<\/a><\/strong><\/p>

Hz. Z\u00fclkarneyn (AS)\u2019a, insanlara durumlar\u0131na g\u00f6re farkl\u0131 davranmak konusunda tercih hakk\u0131 tan\u0131nm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cSonunda G\u00fcne\u015f\u2019in batt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yere kadar ula\u015ft\u0131 ve onu kara \u00e7amurlu bir kaynakta batmakta iken buldu; onun yan\u0131nda bir kavim g\u00f6rd\u00fc. Dedik ki: \u2018Ey Zu’l-Karneyn, (duruma g\u00f6re davran, istersen onlar\u0131) ya azaba u\u011fratarak (sert y\u00f6ntemler kullanarak hizaya sokars\u0131n) veya i\u00e7lerinde g\u00fczelli\u011fi (iyilik ve \u015fefkati ge\u00e7erli ilke) edinerek (bunlar\u0131n \u0131slah\u0131na \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n, art\u0131k sen bilirsin).\u2019<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

(Zu\u2019l-Karneyn) Dedi ki: \u2018Rabbimin beni kendisinde sa\u011flam bir iktidarla yerle\u015fik k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 (g\u00fc\u00e7, nimet ve imk\u00e2n; sizin verginizden) daha hay\u0131rl\u0131d\u0131r. Madem \u00f6yle, siz bana (bedeni) g\u00fc\u00e7le (i\u015f\u00e7ilikle) yard\u0131m edin de, sizinle onlar aras\u0131nda sapasa\u011flam bir sed (engel) kuruvereyim.\u2019 [Bu ayet; emek, sermaye, proje ve teknoloji ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131na da i\u015farettir.]\u201d<\/em><\/strong> (Kehf Suresi 86 ve 95. ayetler)[3]<\/a><\/strong><\/p>

\u00a0Bu ayetlere g\u00f6re Z\u00fclkarneyn (AS), h\u00e2\u015f\u00e2 b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenip insanlara yukar\u0131dan bakmam\u0131\u015f, sadece kendisine verilen \u0130lahi l\u00fctuflar\u0131 hat\u0131rlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. <\/strong><\/p>

Neml Suresi 36 ve 37. ayetlerinde Hz. S\u00fcleyman, h\u00e2\u015f\u00e2 b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenmiyor, sadece Allah\u2019\u0131n ikram\u0131 olan baz\u0131 imk\u00e2n ve iktidar\u0131n gere\u011fini yap\u0131yorlard\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cNihayet (Belk\u0131s\u2019\u0131n el\u00e7ileri hediyelerle) S\u00fcleyman’a geldi\u011fi zaman onlara: \u2018Sizler bana mal ile yard\u0131mda bulunmak (ve karar\u0131mdan cayd\u0131rmak) m\u0131 istiyorsunuz? (Oysa) Allah’\u0131n bana verdi\u011fi (y\u00fcksek ve mucizevi marifet ve \u00f6zel teknoloji ilmi), size verdi\u011finden daha hay\u0131rl\u0131d\u0131r; belki siz, (bu) hediyenizle sevinip \u00f6v\u00fcnebilirsiniz (ama ben \u00e7ok daha de\u011ferli manevi yard\u0131mla desteklenmi\u015fim)\u2019 demi\u015fti.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

(\u015eimdi ey el\u00e7i, art\u0131k) \u2018Sen onlara (Yemen ve Habe\u015fistan\u2019daki Sebe\u2019 halk\u0131na ve \u2018San\u2019a \u00fclkesi\u2019 sultan\u0131na geri) d\u00f6n (ve \u015funlar\u0131 bildir:) Biz onlara \u00f6yle ordularla geliriz ki, onlar\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131 koymalar\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn de\u011fildir ve biz onlar\u0131 oradan (horlanm\u0131\u015f-a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lanm\u0131\u015f ve) k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f (ve zillete u\u011frat\u0131lm\u0131\u015flar) olarak s\u00fcr\u00fcp \u00e7\u0131karmaya (k\u00e2dirizdir).\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/strong> (Neml Suresi 36, 37. ayetleri)<\/strong><\/p>

Bir \u0130nsan\u0131n Ger\u00e7ek Ayar\u0131n\u0131 G\u00f6steren 5 Davran\u0131\u015f<\/strong><\/p>

\u0130nsan sarraf\u0131 olmak bir yetenekten ziyade, do\u011fru detaylara odaklanma sanat\u0131d\u0131r ve \u00f6zellikle tecr\u00fcbeyle al\u00e2kal\u0131d\u0131r. Sosyal ili\u015fkilerde herkesin en ‘ideal’ haliyle boy g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde, bir ki\u015finin ger\u00e7ek karakterini anlamak bazen uzun zaman al\u0131r. Ancak ahl\u00e2k hocalar\u0131na ve uzman\u00a0psikologlara g\u00f6re, ki\u015filerin maskelerinin d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ve \u00f6zlerinin ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 belirli k\u0131r\u0131lma noktalar\u0131 vard\u0131r.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>

1- Bir ki\u015finin ger\u00e7ek karakteri; kendisinden a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da bulunan ve onlardan herhangi bir \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131 olmayan ki\u015filere sergiledi\u011fi temel nezaket d\u00fczeyinde <\/em>sakl\u0131d\u0131r!<\/strong><\/p>

Bir ki\u015finin karakterine dair en d\u00fcr\u00fcst karne, kendisinden ‘daha g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz’ g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ki\u015filere kar\u015f\u0131 tak\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 tav\u0131rd\u0131r. Hizmet sekt\u00f6r\u00fcnde \u00e7al\u0131\u015fanlara, ya\u015fl\u0131lara veya bir alt \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 kaba, sab\u0131rs\u0131z ve \u00fcstenci davranan bireyler, asl\u0131nda nezaketi; bir ahl\u00e2k de\u011feri, ya\u015fam bi\u00e7imi ve insanl\u0131k gere\u011fi olarak de\u011fil, sadece bir \u00e7\u0131kar arac\u0131 olarak kullan\u0131yorlard\u0131r. Ger\u00e7ek asalet, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinden hi\u00e7bir fayda beklemeden sergilenen sayg\u0131yla ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

2- Kendisine y\u00f6nelik yap\u0131c\u0131 ele\u015ftirileri olgunlukla kar\u015f\u0131lamak ve analiz etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak duygusal dengenin i\u015faretiyken, sert tepkiler ve a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 savunma hali, derin bir \u00f6zg\u00fcven eksikli\u011finin<\/em> kan\u0131t\u0131d\u0131r\u2026<\/strong><\/p>

Ki\u015finin \u00f6zg\u00fcven d\u00fczeyi ve ahl\u00e2ki olgunluk derecesi en net \u015fekilde ele\u015ftiri ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlarda ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r. Yap\u0131c\u0131 bir ele\u015ftiriyi sakinlikle dinleyip analiz edebilenler, bunlar\u0131n bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 hakl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcp te\u015fekk\u00fcre y\u00f6nelenler ahl\u00e2k ve duyarl\u0131l\u0131k a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan dengeli kabul edilirken, en ufak bir uyar\u0131da h\u0131r\u00e7\u0131nla\u015fan, savunmaya ge\u00e7en veya kar\u015f\u0131 sald\u0131r\u0131ya odaklanan ki\u015filerde ciddi kontrol ve \u00f6zg\u00fcven sorunlar\u0131<\/em> oldu\u011fu saptanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

3- \u0130nsan\u0131n ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fc, eline otorite veya imk\u00e2n ge\u00e7ti\u011finde \u00e7evresindekilere kar\u015f\u0131 daha adil ve insanc\u0131l m\u0131, yoksa daha bask\u0131c\u0131 m\u0131? davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131yla anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r…<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cBirini tan\u0131mak istiyorsan eline g\u00fc\u00e7 ve yetki ver\u201d<\/em><\/strong> ilkesi, psikolojide alt\u0131n kurald\u0131r. Bir ki\u015fiye yetki, para veya k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir avantaj verildi\u011finde karakterinin ne y\u00f6ne evrildi\u011fi, onun ger\u00e7ek de\u011ferlerini yans\u0131t\u0131r. G\u00fc\u00e7 kazand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda daha sorumlu ve adil olanlar sa\u011flam bir karakter sergilerken, bu durumu ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 ezmek i\u00e7in kullananlar ger\u00e7ek y\u00fczlerini ele vermi\u015f olmaktad\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

4- Ola\u011fan d\u0131\u015f\u0131 zorluklar ve bask\u0131 anlar\u0131, ki\u015finin g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayatta sergiledi\u011fi yapmac\u0131k ve kontroll\u00fc maskesini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrerek ger\u00e7ek karakter ayar\u0131n\u0131 ve duygusal dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131<\/em> ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

G\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131n sakin ak\u0131\u015f\u0131nda herkes uyumlu ve kontroll\u00fc davran\u0131r ve olgun san\u0131l\u0131r. Ancak beklenmedik bir sorun, sald\u0131r\u0131, yo\u011fun stres veya kriz anlar\u0131, kaza ve bela durumlar\u0131 ki\u015finin \u201csava\u015f\u00a0ya da ka\u00e7\u201d <\/em>mekanizmas\u0131n\u0131 devreye sokmaktad\u0131r. Bu anlarda sergilenen fevri \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015flar veya tam tersine \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm odakl\u0131 duru\u015f, ki\u015finin duygusal dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ve karakter sa\u011flaml\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n en \u015feffaf aynas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

5- Bir bireyin ba\u015fkalar\u0131na anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011ferler ile sergiledi\u011fi davran\u0131\u015flar aras\u0131ndaki uyum, karakterinin en temel g\u00fcven testi olan davran\u0131\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc<\/em> yans\u0131t\u0131r\u2026<\/strong><\/p>

Psikolojide \u201cdavran\u0131\u015f tutarl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131\u201d<\/em> olarak adland\u0131r\u0131lan bu kavram, g\u00fcvenin temel ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. Bir ki\u015finin s\u00fcrekli savundu\u011fu de\u011ferler ile g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayattaki hareketleri aras\u0131ndaki\u00a0u\u00e7urum, karakterindeki zafiyeti hat\u0131rlat\u0131r. B\u00fcy\u00fck laflar eden, ancak k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck detaylarda bu s\u00f6zleri \u00e7i\u011fneyen ve \u00e7irkinle\u015fen bireyler, genellikle g\u00fcven in\u015fa etme konusunda yetersiz kal\u0131r.[4]<\/a><\/strong><\/p>

\u0130nsanlarda Karakter Olu\u015fmas\u0131 ve Olgunla\u015fma A\u015famalar\u0131 \u00c7ocukluktan Ba\u015flamaktad\u0131r!<\/strong><\/p>

Marmara \u00dcniversitesi\u2019nin yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ara\u015ft\u0131rma neticesi kabul g\u00f6ren bir kurama g\u00f6re,<\/em><\/strong> ya\u015fam\u0131 ilk belirleyen unsurlar \u201cki\u015filik\u201d ve \u201cya\u015fam stili\u201d <\/em>olmaktad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Ya\u015fam stili; <\/strong>insanlar\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini, duygular\u0131n\u0131, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ve isteklerini belirgin modellere uydurmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ya\u015fam stilini olu\u015fturan temel ta\u015flar, ki\u015finin kendi de\u011fer yarg\u0131lar\u0131yla se\u00e7ti\u011fi; \u00f6zsayg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ve g\u00fcvenilirli\u011fini sa\u011flayan \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli ve \u00f6ncelikli olan ama\u00e7lar\u0131yla olu\u015fup olgunla\u015f\u0131r. Bu da, insan\u0131n ya\u015fam deneyimlerinin \u00fczerine temellenen ve sadece kendine \u00f6zg\u00fc bir karakter olu\u015fturmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamaktad\u0131r. Ki\u015filerin yanl\u0131\u015f anlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya da yanl\u0131\u015f yorumlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feylerde bile amaca uygunluk vard\u0131r ve kendi me\u015fru \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131 ya da ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131 i\u00e7in b\u00f6yle yap\u0131l\u0131r. Bu ama\u00e7lar, d\u00f6nem d\u00f6nem rastgele ve belirsiz gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnse de, ki\u015finin \u00f6zde olu\u015fturdu\u011fu ya\u015fam amac\u0131na uygun bulunmaktad\u0131r. Ya\u015fam ama\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli bir karakter birimidir ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 y\u00f6nlendirmede bask\u0131nd\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Birey se\u00e7ti\u011fi ya da olu\u015fturdu\u011fu hedefe ula\u015fmaya \u00e7abalarken kendisinin iyi ve k\u00f6t\u00fc, do\u011fru ve yanl\u0131\u015f, g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ya da zay\u0131f olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 daha iyi anlamaktad\u0131r. Bireylerin b\u00fct\u00fcn davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131ndaki prensipleri organize ve kontrol etmeye hizmet eden \u00f6znel ama\u00e7lar\u0131 tamamen ki\u015finin kendi se\u00e7imleri \u00fczerine kurgulan\u0131r. \u0130lk deneyimleri ve sosyal \u00e7evresi ile belirlenen bu se\u00e7imler ki\u015fi taraf\u0131ndan zamanla de\u011fi\u015ftirilebilir durumdad\u0131r. Ki\u015fi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 olaylar i\u00e7in yorum yaparken, onun amac\u0131na ula\u015fmas\u0131nda en uygun yol ne ise tercihini o y\u00f6nde kullan\u0131r ve gerekirse bu yolu kendisi olu\u015fturmaktad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Her bireyin kendine \u00f6zg\u00fc ya\u015fam ama\u00e7lar\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda genel olarak ki\u015finin hayat\u0131n\u0131n anlam kazanmas\u0131 i\u00e7in \u00fc\u00e7 hedefinin olmas\u0131 laz\u0131md\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

A) Bunlardan ilki; bireysel ve toplumsal ger\u00e7eklik olan aile kurma arzular\u0131d\u0131r. Kad\u0131n ve erkek olarak iki farkl\u0131 cinsiyete ayr\u0131lan insanlar, e\u015fi ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131yla iyi ve kaliteli bir ya\u015fam haz\u0131rlamak, t\u00fcrlerinin devam\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamak ya da birbirlerinin sevgi ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131lamak i\u00e7in aile kurmak ama\u00e7lan\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

B) Ki\u015finin ikinci hedefi; meslek edinmek ve bu mesle\u011fi sorunsuz bir \u015fekilde s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek \u00e7abas\u0131d\u0131r. Ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n daha nitelikli olmas\u0131 i\u00e7in bu laz\u0131md\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

C) Bedenen ve zihnen s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 olan insan\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc ve son hedefi ise, hayatta kalabilmek i\u00e7in toplumun di\u011fer fertleriyle uyum i\u00e7inde ya\u015famakt\u0131r. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir toprak par\u00e7as\u0131 ve s\u0131n\u0131rl\u0131 kaynaklara sahip oldu\u011fu ger\u00e7e\u011fi dikkate al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, di\u011fer insanlara olan ihtiyac\u0131n ne kadar hayati oldu\u011fu bir kez daha ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r. Her birey, \u0131rk\u0131n\u0131n tek \u00fcyesi de\u011fildir ve bu kaynaklar\u0131n di\u011fer insanlarla ya da toplumlarla hatta gelecek nesillerle payla\u015f\u0131lmas\u0131 zorunlu olmaktad\u0131r. Bunun i\u00e7in insan, akl\u0131n\u0131 ve duyarl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kullanarak di\u011ferlerinin de haklar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnde bulundurarak ortak \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmler aramal\u0131d\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu hedefler, b\u00fcy\u00fck grup olarak toplumun, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck grup olarak da ailenin, bireyin varolu\u015funda vazge\u00e7ilmez oldu\u011funu ortaya koymaktad\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

Ya\u015fam\u0131n ilk be\u015f y\u0131l\u0131n\u0131n, bireyin ya\u015fam stilinin bir prototipini olu\u015fturdu\u011fu anla\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

Ki\u015fi yeni deneyimlerini bu prototipin \u00e7er\u00e7evesinde yorumlama e\u011filiminde olacakt\u0131r. \u00c7ocu\u011fun ilk etkile\u015fimlerinin ya\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131 aile, onun ki\u015filik \u00f6zelliklerinin, ya\u015fam stilinin ve toplumsal ilgi d\u00fczeyinin<\/em> olu\u015fumunda olduk\u00e7a \u00f6nemli say\u0131l\u0131r. Bireyin ya\u015fam stilinde olu\u015fan \u00e7arp\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7 temel durumdan kaynakland\u0131\u011f\u0131 saptanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: <\/strong><\/p>

Bunlardan ilki, ilk \u00e7ocukluk hastal\u0131klar\u0131 ve bununla birlikte ya\u015fanan organ eksikli\u011fi-fiziksel yetersizlik durumlar\u0131d\u0131r. Bedenlerindeki fiziksel bozukluklar ya da \u00e7ocu\u011fun kendisini eksik alg\u0131lay\u0131\u015f\u0131 ve eksiklik kayg\u0131s\u0131 bireyi farkl\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flara y\u00f6nelten etken konumundad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

\u0130kincisi, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 \u015f\u0131mart\u0131lmas\u0131d\u0131r. \u015e\u0131mart\u0131lma olarak belirlenen bu etkile\u015fim tipleri \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ki\u015filik yap\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 farkl\u0131la\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r. \u015e\u0131mart\u0131lan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n ki\u015filik geli\u015fimleri a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 koruma, a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fc ya da \u00e7ocuk \u00fczerinde fazla bask\u0131 kurulmas\u0131yla engellenmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131l\u0131r. Bu tip \u00e7ocuklar a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck duygusu ya\u015farlar ve ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131 y\u00f6netmekten mutluluk duyarlar. \u015e\u0131mart\u0131lma sonucunda \u00e7ocuk kendisi i\u00e7in bir \u015feyler yapmay\u0131 ve insanlara emir vermeden ileti\u015fim kurmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenemez ve a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 bencil davran\u0131r. Bu durumun sonucu olarak toplum \u015f\u0131mar\u0131k \u00e7ocu\u011fu reddeder, hatta daha k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc nefret eder. Bu \u015fekilde yeti\u015ftirilen \u00e7ocuklar gelecekte kendilerinden emin olmayan, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck toplumsal ilgiye sahip ki\u015filikler kazan\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

\u00a0\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fcs\u00fc ise ilgisizlik, reddedilme ya da ihmal edilme durumlar\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130hmal edilen ve ilgisiz b\u0131rak\u0131lan bir \u00e7ocuk her g\u00fcn de\u011fersizlik duygusu ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan <\/strong>a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k kompleksi,<\/em><\/strong> ba\u015fkalar\u0131na g\u00fcvenmedi\u011fi i\u00e7in de <\/strong>bencilli\u011fi<\/em><\/strong> yo\u011funla\u015f\u0131r. E\u011fer ki\u015fi sevgiyi bilmiyorsa sonraki zamanlarda payla\u015fma kapasitesini geli\u015ftirmesi zorla\u015f\u0131r. Sadece yetimler ve istismar kurbanlar\u0131 de\u011fil, \u00e7ok fazla reddedici ve otoriter ailelerin \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 da bencil olmaktad\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar uyumsuzlu\u011fun temelini olu\u015fturmaktad\u0131r. S\u00fcrekli reddedilen \u00e7ocuklarda; yeti\u015fkinlikte sosyal ya\u015famdan uzak kalmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan ve \u00e7evresindeki insanlara g\u00fcven duymayan ki\u015filik yap\u0131lar\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Her birey erken \u00e7ocukluk d\u00f6neminden ba\u015flayarak \u201cfiktif\u201d (hayali) bir ya\u015fam amac\u0131na y\u00f6nelik hayat plan\u0131n\u0131 olu\u015fturmaktad\u0131r. Bu gizli ya\u015fam plan\u0131 i\u00e7inde temel do\u011frultular \u00fczerinde bir b\u00fct\u00fcn olarak hareket eder, ilerler, kendi ya\u015fam amac\u0131na yakla\u015fmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Ya\u015fam amac\u0131, hayat plan\u0131yla uyumlu bulunuyorsa, ki\u015fisel ya\u015fam amac\u0131 toplumunkiyle uygunluk g\u00f6steriyorsa, insan sonunda kendi belirlemi\u015f oldu\u011fu amaca da ula\u015facakt\u0131r ve mutlu olacakt\u0131r. Aksi takdirde ya\u015famdan soyutlanacak ve yaln\u0131zl\u0131k ya\u015fayacaklard\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Bireysel psikolojinin temel kavramlar\u0131ndan bir di\u011feri ise yetersizlik duygusu ve \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck \u00e7abas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>

Temelde insan olmak, eksiklik ve yetersizlik duygular\u0131na sahip do\u011fmakt\u0131r. Daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc varl\u0131klardan, \u00e7etin do\u011fa ko\u015fullar\u0131ndan ve her \u015feyi yapan ve Yaratan Y\u00fcce Varl\u0131ktan korkma ve O\u2019na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nma duygusu do\u011fald\u0131r. <\/strong>Her insan hayat\u0131n\u0131n bir d\u00f6neminde a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygusuna kap\u0131l\u0131r.<\/strong> Bu duygu, evrensel bir nitelik ta\u015f\u0131r. Bireysel psikoloji; yetersizlik duygusunun di\u011fer ucunda m\u00fckemmel olma \u00e7abas\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu, buna ra\u011fmen her iki duygunun da birbirini tetikleyen g\u00fcce sahip oldu\u011funu savunmaktad\u0131r. <\/strong><\/p>

Toplumsal ilgi, bireylerin g\u00fc\u00e7 ve m\u00fckemmellik y\u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00e7abalar\u0131n\u0131 dengeleyen bir unsur olmaktad\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc m\u00fckemmeliyet\u00e7i \u00e7abalar, sa\u011fduyu ve toplumsal ilgi ile birlikte ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u00fcddet\u00e7e sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ve yararl\u0131 say\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. M\u00fckemmel olma \u00e7abas\u0131, ki\u015finin ba\u015farma kararl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve anlaml\u0131 ya\u015fam ama\u00e7lar\u0131na ula\u015fma \u00e7abas\u0131 nedeniyle ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r. Ba\u015farma iste\u011fi, ki\u015finin hem i\u00e7 d\u00fcnyas\u0131 hem de toplum taraf\u0131ndan yap\u0131lan bask\u0131 nedeniyle olu\u015fmaktad\u0131r. Asl\u0131nda insan cennet i\u00e7in yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r, sonsuz ve kusursuz bir hayat\u0131 arzulamaktad\u0131r. Ve zaten bu maksatla \u201c<\/strong>Allah\u2019\u0131n yery\u00fcz\u00fcndeki Halifesi\u201d<\/em><\/strong> olarak donat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Her ruh, t\u00fcm ya\u015fam s\u00fcresince eksiklik duygusunu telafi etme \u00e7abas\u0131yla s\u00fcrekli huzursuz durumdad\u0131r. Bu duygu, bilincin geli\u015fti\u011fi ilk andan itibaren aktifle\u015fir, giderek psikolojik ger\u00e7e\u011fin tamamen fark\u0131nda olur ve yo\u011funla\u015f\u0131r. \u00d6rne\u011fin; sa\u011f\u0131r bir ki\u015finin duymad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in di\u011fer duyu organlar\u0131yla bunu telafi etmesi gibi, insanlar ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n tamam\u0131nda eksiklik ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 duyguyu ortadan kald\u0131rmak, ba\u015far\u0131 duygusunu tatmak i\u00e7in uygun buldu\u011fu y\u00f6ntemlerle telafi \u00e7abas\u0131na yo\u011funla\u015f\u0131r. Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7 ki\u015fi i\u00e7in kolay olmasa da ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n vazge\u00e7ilmez bir par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r. Ya\u015fanan eksiklik duygular\u0131n\u0131n i\u00e7eri\u011fi \u00f6znel olmakla birlikte b\u00fct\u00fcn insanlarda temel prensip ayn\u0131d\u0131r. Eksiklik duygusu bir ki\u015finin veya toplumun \u00fczerine ne kadar \u015fiddetli bast\u0131r\u0131rsa, ilgili ki\u015fi veya topluluk bir yay misali o kadar y\u00fckse\u011fe f\u0131rlamak \u00e7abas\u0131ndad\u0131r. \u0130nsan tek ba\u015f\u0131na yetersiz oldu\u011fundan, ancak bir grup i\u00e7inde hayat\u0131n\u0131 kolayla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p anlamla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r. \u0130nsanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n tek ger\u00e7e\u011fi ba\u015fkalar\u0131yla bir arada ya\u015famas\u0131d\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan ba\u015fkalar\u0131yla var olur. \u201cToplumsall\u0131k duygusuyla yetersizlik duygusu aras\u0131ndaki \u00e7at\u0131\u015fma\u201d, <\/em>insan\u0131n hareket ya da davran\u0131\u015f yasas\u0131n\u0131 olu\u015fturmaktad\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>

Bu konuda Hz. Peygamberimizin: \u201cM\u00fcsl\u00fcmanlar (ve olu\u015fturduklar\u0131 gruplar, kurulu\u015flar) aynen bir ki\u015fi (tek v\u00fccut) gibidirler\u2026 B\u00fct\u00fcn ac\u0131lar\u0131 ve s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 da, ba\u015far\u0131 ve mutluluklar\u0131 da birlikte hissetmelidirler\u201d<\/em> hadisi \u00f6rnek al\u0131nmal\u0131 ve buna uygun davran\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
  1. <\/a>https:\/\/www.mealikerim.com\/93\/duha\/11<\/li>
  2. https:\/\/www.mealikerim.com\/18\/kehf\/66:67:68<\/li>
  3. https:\/\/www.mealikerim.com\/18\/kehf\/86:95<\/li>
  4. Bak: Ya\u015fam Edit\u00f6r\u00fc \u00d6. F. Kino<\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u00d6\u011e\u00dcT VERMEKLE \u00d6V\u00dcNMEK AYRIDIR VE KARAKTER \u00c7OCUKLUKTA OLU\u015eMAKTADIR Tahdis-i nimet; Allah’\u0131n ikram etti\u011fi nimet ve faziletleri, \u00f6v\u00fcnmek ve b\u00f6b\u00fcrlenmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil, Rabbine te\u015fekk\u00fcr etmek ve nimetlerin as\u0131l sahibini belirtmek anlam\u0131ndad\u0131r. Duh\u00e2 Suresi 11. ayeti, sadece buna izin de\u011fil, ayn\u0131 zamanda bir emir makam\u0131ndad\u0131r. \u201cVe (Sana l\u00fctfetti\u011fi b\u00fct\u00fcn bu \u00fcst\u00fcn fazilet ve meziyetlerden dolay\u0131, \u00f6v\u00fcnmek ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":69,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[98],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ozel-yazilar"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/69"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36624"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36662,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36624\/revisions\/36662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.millicozum.com\/mc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}